JXGuy

The Right Stuff

2007-07-28T21:43:00.000-04:00

SOOO I was just at the grocery store when I saw a middle-aged Asian man wearing what appeared to be a silk-screened New Kids on the Block T-shirt.

No, for serious.

OMG guys...

2006-05-18T09:57:00.000-04:00

Don't you hate it when your cat bleeds on the RSVP card for your friend's little sister's Bat Mitzvah and you have to use white out to cover it up before sending it back???

The Moral of the Story

2006-05-16T20:35:00.000-04:00

So I'm standing in front of a convenience store when this wannabe-gang-member kid comes up to me and...

Him: Hey, can you do me a favor? I'm just running to my friend's house real fast, so can I give you money and you can get me some black & milds?

Me [as I'm scratching off a lottery ticket]: I'm not 18.

Him: Oh, really? Then how did you get that? [motions to ticket]

Me: Uh. I... My friend --

Him: Bullshit, man. That's bullshit! You gotta lie. Why you gotta lie?!

[he continues rambling to himself as he walks away]

So you see, kids, lying pays off in the end because I won $4 and he didn't get his lame cigarettes. I probably would have used his money to buy these delectable-looking cinnamon rolls that I wanted, anyway.

Ring, Ring

2006-05-11T20:13:00.000-04:00

I kept getting woken up two nights ago because my cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. And who was calling? GHANA. Someone in GHANA. (I'd post a link to the country's official website, but it's apparently down for the time being. Ahem.)

I didn't pick up and I turned the phone off after the second call, but seriously... either a really interesting person was the previous owner of my number, or someone is using it in order to evade some pretty sketchy predicaments, because I've gotten a few rather bizarre and peculiar phonecalls in the two and a half years that I've had this phone. Like the time that a back alley financial agency kept harassing me in order to get to "Leslie." When I visited the company's message board at its website, it was brimming with horror stories concerning the ruthless and unrelenting nature of the agency and how it had ruined the lives of countless people. Glad I escaped that one unscathed. Knock on wood.

Introduction

2006-05-10T10:55:00.000-04:00

Hey. I'm Jeff. I'm a 19-year-old college student. I don't really know how else to introduce myself, so I figured a few Googlisms would do the trick...

jeff is making my life easier (I try :-))

jeff is bringing down the house (Like Queen Latifah. Except fatter and blacker.)

jeff is so fine and so mine posted by danyelle mycroft on november 15 (i love u danyelle... u my boo.)

jeff is weak against fire (ARRRRGGGHHH.)

jeff is probably an adulterer (I resent that!... But, yeah, probably.)

jeff is trying to make a serious and honest comeback (Honestly. And seriously.)

jeff is recognized as the father of what is commonly referred to as "the modern techniques of shooting" (Only the Dick Cheney kind, where you shoot rich, white, elderly people in the face.)

jeff is now a little more than a curious onlooker (Just a little.)